A couple of years ago, I tried to make a film. The result turned out to be rather more – chat on film than narrative, and I still don’t know what a producer does, but still – it got a few laughs and that was what I was going for, really.

However, when I thought it was going to be a proper film with characters and story and such, I sourced and sorted through a whole bunch of possible costumes. Among which was – a set of surgical scrubs.

Scrubs resemble nothing so much to me as pyjamas. Except they’re brightly coloured, no stripes, no awkwardly placed buttons – they’re amazing. Gorgeous v-neck, deep blue, my favourite colour. Too thin to wear for Halloween, but I fully intend to wear them when everything else is in the wash.

As much as I have a mountain of washing to do, I don’t want to risk the gas man showing up to check the boiler when I’m done up like I’m pretending to be on Holby. We don’t have the sort of relationship that could weather that.

I’ll just get through his visit and take it from there.