Book Review – This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things During The Zombie Apocalypse by Scott M. Baker

First published, 2019

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The main character in this humorous horror short story is a teenage girl. She is writing a diary during the zombie apocalypse. She’s always known this time was coming as she indicates on the first page:

“I had planned this out in my mind for years – I would team up with either Chris Pratt or Benedict Cumberbatch and hunt zombies.”
Page 1, This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things During The Zombie Apocalypse by Scott M. Baker.

The main character is part of a fairly normal family: dad-joke-telling father, CK – older brother, survivalist, prepared for all disasters, fond of camouflage, and middle sister, Cameron, the text-happy sibling with designer clothes and high heels – not prepared for anything.

Although the main character’s voice is a little too expositional for a diarist – explaining things that she would just know (assuming a diary is only ever written for its author) – quite soon, the situation warrants some dissecting and so it doesn’t rankle for long.

I loved discovering that the cocksure, survivalist brother was more terrified and clueless than anyone else. Better yet was the realisation that the designer-clothing-toting sister is a total rock star with a shovel.

Okay, there’s a fair amount of blood and guts on this short story, but it’s a zombie story so, presumably, that’s what you picked this book up for.

I suspect I would have liked this story more but for one detail: more than once, the family gives chocolate-chip ice cream sandwiches to their dogs.

I don’t like their chances of finding an unbitten vet when they poison the dogs with chocolate and lactose. Apart from that, an entertaining read.