I was reading an article the other day. I know, it’s like I’m made of magic.

Anywho, in the article, there was an author talking about her new book. Now, I’ll forgive myself later, but I don’t remember the name of the author or the book. I do remember that I’d never seen her before. Which, in the world of me, means that she wasn’t PD James or Daphne Du Maurier. The fact that she was alive also suggests she wasn’t PD James or Daphne Du Maurier.

Anyway, getting back to the article… it wasn’t all that long, but in it, the author talked about her process, her inspiration, but the main thrust was (brace yourselves) who she wanted to play the lead if the book ever becomes a movie.

I suspect anyone who’s ever written anything has fantasized about their work becoming world-renowned. And nothing spells renown like a few Oscar winners and a fit of nervous giggles and a tightly held manuscript lurking behind a massive camera, and trying not to be thrown off set.

Regardless of who her ideal lead actor was, it got me thinking. Anyone who has read even a page or two of this blog knows damn well who I want to play the lead, should my book ever turn into a film.

Stop scrolling. It’s Fiona Shaw.

But then I began to wonder: if an actor reads that an author has them in mind for a role, do they find it flattering, or is it really quite creepy? Because I can see how it could be both. I suppose it depends on the role.

For example, if the lead character has a severe digestive disorder, experiences bouts of devil-worship and commits all manner of naughtiness, perhaps involving soft fruit, I can see how that wouldn’t necessarily translate as a compliment.

But in truth, does any actor really want some funny little weirdo in perma-jeans, sitting behind a laptop and wondering how they would feel about murder over pudding? I am, of course, referring to myself. The author in the article seemed a lot less fine-dining-and-lesbianism, much more Liam Neeson-centric than myself.

Obviously, if the book does turn into a film, I hope the central message of this blog is: I’m a sensitive little thing. I’m concerned that I’ll upset the actors before there even are actors. So, if I need throwing off the set, throw me gently, eh?