It doesn’t take much to get the brain all a-thrum.

Today, I find myself experiencing quite dramatic cranial Churning, because a chap I had drinks with a couple of months ago was just caught shoplifting from the local store.

It wasn’t especially small-scale, the theft. But it is a small shop, and he basically cleared a shelf. What made it properly stupid was the fact that he applied for a job at the shop only a couple of weeks before. So, they have all his details from his application form, as well as CCTV evidence.

Not clever.

The embellishment of a story to make it more interesting, is something I understand – that doesn’t count as lying. That’s just embroidery for the sake of story.

Exaggeration of a drunken Vegas wedding? Fine. Making yourself the hero of the story? No problem. But don’t let me catch you in a small lie, or a small crime.

Here’s what happens in my brain:

If she says she’s a size 12, and then I do the washing and – what do you know – she wears size 10, this is my thought process..

Size 10? Huh. I thought she said..

They never found Lord Lucan.

*checks on Google*

No. They never found Lord Lucan.

Oh, good lord, it’s her.

My blanket trust turns to senseless scepticism with lightning speed these days.

Be good, people. For the sake of my brain.