When I was eleven, I read ‘Rebecca’ and the world changed.

I love Daphne Du Maurier. It is my primary ambition to be thought of as – a slightly smutty Daphne Du Maurier.

I’m quite serious.

That would be an amazing compliment. I know this because I’ve had it from myself repeatedly.

What it comes down to is this: many of my friends have babies. And they’re terribly sweet and gorgeous and I have absolutely no idea what to buy for a baby.

None. Characters from kids’ TV always seem to be too large and brightly coloured, as if children can’t see pastel. However, I’m fully aware that I’m not the target audience, and watching kids’ TV with a hangover is not really appropriate in any way.

However, when they turn eleven, I know exactly what my friends’ children should be reading. I’ll start them on Du Maurier before moving them on to Woolf and Murdoch.