Now, it should come as little surprise to anyone who’s read book one (Sex, Death & Canapés, currently only 99p on Amazon right here –
– sorry, had to sneak that in), that I’m a fan of food.
So, with that in mind, here’s my recipe for Goat’s Cheese Tarts – they’re incredible.
INGREDIENTS
2 red onions, finely diced
1oz butter
1oz soft brown sugar
1tbsp balsamic vinegar
Salt and pepper
6oz soft goat’s cheese
1 roll shortcrust pastry (If you want to make your own, I applaud you. I tend to take the easy way out.)
1 muffin tin
1. Take the pastry out of the fridge. Once it has achieved room temperature, roll it out and cut it into twelve equal squares.
2. Preheat the oven to 180°C. Press the twelve squares of pastry into the holes of a muffin tin. Top with aluminium foil and baking beans. Bake for 10 minutes.
3. While the pastry bakes, cook the jam. To do this, place the diced red onion, butter, soft brown sugar, balsamic vinegar and seasoning into a saucepan and cook until the liquid has cooked off and the smell is close to heavenly. If you’re salivating, it’s ready.
4. With the pastry cases out of the oven, remove the baking beans and foil, and trim the edges if you want to be fancy. Otherwise you can leave the sides slightly squared and, what I like to think of as, ‘rustic’. Divide the onion jam equally between the pastry cases, and top with a decent dob of goat’s cheese.
Side note: they sell the best goat’s cheese at Sainsbury’s. It’s from Abergavenny. If you have the option, always go Welsh.

5. Pop the tarts back into the oven for 7-8 minutes, just long enough for the cheese to warm and become a little squidgy.
6. Serve with salad, and thank me next time.